im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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