Umm I'm too high to move.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
