You just made me feel so damn special
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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