Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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