I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
