Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
