we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
