remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
