so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize