Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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