I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
