Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
When are your genitals available?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
