there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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