Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I want a musical about memes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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