Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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