i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
