The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
high people should be assigned attendants
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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