you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
