One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize