physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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