In the future we'll all be gay
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
