I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
