Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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