Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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