i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
