Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
