Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
