I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This is my gift to your gina
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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