I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
