That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
