I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
