She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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