If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
