dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
