I'm really into asian looking animals
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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