I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
