OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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