then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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