the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
