My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
