i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Boobs are out for the taking
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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