look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
