i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
