Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
