Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize