You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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