What did we do last night that was yellow?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
