Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize