You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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