I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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