I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize