we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
