you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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