so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
