I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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