i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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