I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
love makes seman taste better
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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