You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
