What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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