His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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