Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
