rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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